Back again. Anyway, I am on Cloud9. And I am happy. Alhamdulillah. Although, yes I need adjusting. Its probably not gonna be an easy ride. But I am ready to try. Since I have..hmmm.. leaped? Leaped into this relationship with the person who is making me smile while typing :)
I am glad he is making this easy, for the both of us. Like I said, it should be easy. No games. No beating around the bush etc. I'm loving every second of what I'm feeling right now. Although, hmmm... talks about future does give me goosebumps but I am slowly accepting the idea. Insyaallah.
I dont know where we're headed. But we're on our way. :) May have stolen that from someone. hahahahah But i mean it. Ok thats all for now. I am missing him soooo very much right now. Cant wait to see him soon.
xoxo
Monday, March 14, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Just the way you are
Pressure. Its kicking in now. I guess this love is not easy after all. Maybe, just maybe, it will end before we even realize it.
Often times... hate is more genuine than love. Self explanatory.
Why am I sad? Well, the fact that the word "love" means very little to some. Easy come, easy go.
I have been running away from all this crap. Right back where I started. Maybe, there is something about me that triggers him off so easily. I will drive him away, eventually. What is the point anymore. Really. Manage expectations. That is easier said than done.
Maybe I am not in love too. Its crazy. This is crazy. I'm digging my own grave.
I always bounce back. Each time it hurts less, I guess. I should stay numb.
Till then.
Often times... hate is more genuine than love. Self explanatory.
Why am I sad? Well, the fact that the word "love" means very little to some. Easy come, easy go.
I have been running away from all this crap. Right back where I started. Maybe, there is something about me that triggers him off so easily. I will drive him away, eventually. What is the point anymore. Really. Manage expectations. That is easier said than done.
Maybe I am not in love too. Its crazy. This is crazy. I'm digging my own grave.
I always bounce back. Each time it hurts less, I guess. I should stay numb.
Till then.
Monday, March 7, 2011
k a n g e n
Aduhai. Ive been listening to sappy love songs now. Sigh.Not Again! hahaahha anyway, feeling is good. For now. Insyaallah it'll be great all the way through. Missing someone badly is soooo not easy.
I know I need to rationalize things. Dont get too carried away. I must remember, even water runs dry.Love can too. I hope its not just infatuation. I hope the feelings are real. Ive always believed that love should be easy. No games. No problems. No draining of emotions. And Im glad I found someone who thinks and feels the sme way as I do.
Yes. I am terrified of commitments. Its not that Im not ready to get married and all. Its just that shit happens a lot back then when marriage was on the platter. What Im having with him now, has no pressure on me. I dont know where this might lead us to. But I hope its to a good place. Im tired of relationships. But Im loving every second of it. I may get bitten in the ass. I dont know. And like I said, I always always learn things the hard way.
Now Im adding pressure to myself. Rationalize. Sigh. I am falling for him. Hopefully not too fast than I can manage. He is different. Just sad that I have turned into this stonecold b**** no thanks to my past experience. But Im adjusting.
I miss you sayang. Like maaaddddness. Anyway, cant wait to see him next Monday :( a week from today. I rally wish we'll do great and I wont need to delete this post.
xoxo
I know I need to rationalize things. Dont get too carried away. I must remember, even water runs dry.Love can too. I hope its not just infatuation. I hope the feelings are real. Ive always believed that love should be easy. No games. No problems. No draining of emotions. And Im glad I found someone who thinks and feels the sme way as I do.
Yes. I am terrified of commitments. Its not that Im not ready to get married and all. Its just that shit happens a lot back then when marriage was on the platter. What Im having with him now, has no pressure on me. I dont know where this might lead us to. But I hope its to a good place. Im tired of relationships. But Im loving every second of it. I may get bitten in the ass. I dont know. And like I said, I always always learn things the hard way.
Now Im adding pressure to myself. Rationalize. Sigh. I am falling for him. Hopefully not too fast than I can manage. He is different. Just sad that I have turned into this stonecold b**** no thanks to my past experience. But Im adjusting.
I miss you sayang. Like maaaddddness. Anyway, cant wait to see him next Monday :( a week from today. I rally wish we'll do great and I wont need to delete this post.
xoxo
Im back mate!
Just got back from Gold Coast. Trip was alright. Of course we had Sofea for the whole 4 days which was fun! heheheh... but it rained almost everyday there. That sucked. We ended up shopping more hehehehe not complaining but would have loved to see more surfers and sun and sand :D
Didnt take that many photos though. Hmmm maybe this wasnt a camwhoring trip hahahaha... i took photos, just not of myself..thats a change. Anyway, I went to Movieworld. That was fun. Went on all the rides there and then it started drizzling. Potong stim la weyyy!!!! hahahaha rempits
We only went for 4 days. It was ok la. Enough damage la! I thnk I bought 27 dresses! ahhahaha scarrrryyyyy dont know what happened, really!
Anyway, I am smitten as hell now.
:D
xoxo
Didnt take that many photos though. Hmmm maybe this wasnt a camwhoring trip hahahaha... i took photos, just not of myself..thats a change. Anyway, I went to Movieworld. That was fun. Went on all the rides there and then it started drizzling. Potong stim la weyyy!!!! hahahaha rempits
We only went for 4 days. It was ok la. Enough damage la! I thnk I bought 27 dresses! ahhahaha scarrrryyyyy dont know what happened, really!
Anyway, I am smitten as hell now.
:D
xoxo
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Its been a while
Yes.. It has been a while since i last posted anything up here. Seems kinda weird now. Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote.
I am still loving my space, alone. I enjoy it a lot. Oh did I mention I quit smoking? Hmmm... Well that took place after my surgery. I was sick waaaay too often for my own good and found out I had chronic sinusitis. So I actually made a promise to myself to quit smoking since I know my health was deteriorating before my eyes. So thats what I did. I quit on New Year's day. Right from 0000hours!
Insyaallah I will be able to go through this. Alhamdulillah it has been easy.
Anyway, I have been shishaing. If that helps. Hmmmm....In my defense, I do not inhale the vapour from shisha. I only like the sweet taste. And probably Im still addicted to blowing. Hmmmm
So what else is new here? I found a new hangout place. Its called Tajine. As selfish as I may sound, I like the fact that this place is quiet. Most of the time. I have privacy, WiFi, shisha, and excellent service. Prices here are also reasonable. I love it. Its a minute drive from my pad. Lovely.
I have been pretty busy with results. Well, its February. What do you expect huh? Most of the companies decided to release their results at the final week itself. Madness I tell you! I havent had enough sleep in ages. Or weeks. K la dramaqueen!!! heheheh
Tomorrow night I'll be off to Gold Coast. With my family! Can you believe it? We havent done this in agesss!! NOW thats a FACT!! The ONLY sole reason as to why we're going for a holiday is SOFEA! ehhehehe
oh Yeah! She turned 1 2 weeks back. What a delight! She is soooo smart!!! MasyaAllah. The cutest ever! Cant wait for the trip.
Anyway, I have a new song in my head that I kept repeating. "Your Heart is As Black As Night"...by Melody Gardot..
Cause your hands may be strong, and the feeling is all wrong..but your heart is as black as night..
I am still loving my space, alone. I enjoy it a lot. Oh did I mention I quit smoking? Hmmm... Well that took place after my surgery. I was sick waaaay too often for my own good and found out I had chronic sinusitis. So I actually made a promise to myself to quit smoking since I know my health was deteriorating before my eyes. So thats what I did. I quit on New Year's day. Right from 0000hours!
Insyaallah I will be able to go through this. Alhamdulillah it has been easy.
Anyway, I have been shishaing. If that helps. Hmmmm....In my defense, I do not inhale the vapour from shisha. I only like the sweet taste. And probably Im still addicted to blowing. Hmmmm
So what else is new here? I found a new hangout place. Its called Tajine. As selfish as I may sound, I like the fact that this place is quiet. Most of the time. I have privacy, WiFi, shisha, and excellent service. Prices here are also reasonable. I love it. Its a minute drive from my pad. Lovely.
I have been pretty busy with results. Well, its February. What do you expect huh? Most of the companies decided to release their results at the final week itself. Madness I tell you! I havent had enough sleep in ages. Or weeks. K la dramaqueen!!! heheheh
Tomorrow night I'll be off to Gold Coast. With my family! Can you believe it? We havent done this in agesss!! NOW thats a FACT!! The ONLY sole reason as to why we're going for a holiday is SOFEA! ehhehehe
oh Yeah! She turned 1 2 weeks back. What a delight! She is soooo smart!!! MasyaAllah. The cutest ever! Cant wait for the trip.
Anyway, I have a new song in my head that I kept repeating. "Your Heart is As Black As Night"...by Melody Gardot..
Cause your hands may be strong, and the feeling is all wrong..but your heart is as black as night..
Friday, December 17, 2010
Rock bottoming at year end
As mentioned previously, I have been on a house-hunting mission. It aint easy. Especially since I couldnt get the blessing from mommy. It was an emotional day for me on Wednesday. I sobbed and rubbed my eyes profusely. Yea I sound like a spoiled brat I know. But then again, its just so easy to judge me. Yes, what ever you see is practically just a show. What I want the world to see. Whatever and however I feel is not the concern of the world. That is between me and God.
Anyway, I rubbed my eyes which led to a tear. Not the contacts, but my eye. Left one. Pain as hell. And it was the colour red.Blood red. Not so glamorous. Haih. Since its an open wound, any exposure to lights would hurt like hell too.But Im good now. Alhamdulillah.
And yesterday, Abang had to go for a minor surgery at Prince Court. His sinus was really bad and blocked his whole system, on the right side i think. Chronic sinus. Way past acute. Alhamdulillah he is fine too now.
So yea, this is the year end. Things havent been great on my side. Despite all the holidays and travelling Ive been doing. So, in conclusion, I havent found that happiness yet. Not in travelling nor shopping. I guess, on hindsight, travelling is my way of escaping reality. Living a few days in a dream. Then, when I come back, reality hits me hard, in the face.
Ive had a tough year. A challenging one. Not that it should be easy. But it was not all a happy one. I cant say I cant wait for 2011 so I could start fresh. Im scared as hell Im gonna ruin it again. And history repeats. Life goes on. What can I say? That is just the system. Take a breather. Put it all behind me.
Life is a journey they say. I am going through it now. So yea. Its been rocky. I just want a meaningful and fulfilling life. Insyaallah. Ameen
Anyway, I rubbed my eyes which led to a tear. Not the contacts, but my eye. Left one. Pain as hell. And it was the colour red.Blood red. Not so glamorous. Haih. Since its an open wound, any exposure to lights would hurt like hell too.But Im good now. Alhamdulillah.
And yesterday, Abang had to go for a minor surgery at Prince Court. His sinus was really bad and blocked his whole system, on the right side i think. Chronic sinus. Way past acute. Alhamdulillah he is fine too now.
So yea, this is the year end. Things havent been great on my side. Despite all the holidays and travelling Ive been doing. So, in conclusion, I havent found that happiness yet. Not in travelling nor shopping. I guess, on hindsight, travelling is my way of escaping reality. Living a few days in a dream. Then, when I come back, reality hits me hard, in the face.
Ive had a tough year. A challenging one. Not that it should be easy. But it was not all a happy one. I cant say I cant wait for 2011 so I could start fresh. Im scared as hell Im gonna ruin it again. And history repeats. Life goes on. What can I say? That is just the system. Take a breather. Put it all behind me.
Life is a journey they say. I am going through it now. So yea. Its been rocky. I just want a meaningful and fulfilling life. Insyaallah. Ameen
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
A day indeed
Today has been a pretty weird day. Well, I came to work with an unexpected Telco report thanks to TM and Maxis' announcement last night. The announcement was mainly a pact between these two telcos on TM providing last mile access for HSBB to Maxis. Hence, Maxis is coming out with something similar to TM's triple play-UniFi. The clause of the agreement I believe suggests that Maxis is expected to add more value as compared to TM's UniFi thus, no direct competition.
This is positive for TM cause it will boost earnings from Wholesale business as it is also servicing YTL's YES!. Having said that, TM will not have a monopoly on the HSBB market going forward. This is positive for the sector but we may see some canibalisation of UniFi. UniFi is at an advantage thanks to its affordable pricing but slow rollout. Maxis, may capitalize on its sister company Astro and will probably gain more interests amongst customers.
Ok. After allll that, I continues my house-hunting project. It really aint easy I tell you. First of all, they ended up asking me, "bumi' or "non-bumi"? that irritates the hell out of me. Well, I dont believe in that. A Malaysian is a Malaysian. Period. What Bumi? Ish. So yea. And then, it got intense. I told mommy about my plans and, "BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" i got shot!!
From left, right, back front top bottom u name it. She mustve covered all angles of which I always managed to have an answer in return. Then, her reply would sound "Yea, you're the smart one right? You're the analyst" Ouch! I am sure that was sarcasm. Even Stevie Wonder could see that I'm the least smart in the family. Oh well.
I am turning 27 you know. i NEED a sense of accomplishment. And ownership. As of now, I have nothing. Except for my car. So yea, It was emotional. I cried and cried and practically sobbed my conversation over with mom. It was hard. She didnt understand why I needed to get a house. Not solely for moving out. Just so I could feel something. Like I have and own something. Thats it. It aint easy. I am turning 27 in a month and 10 days time. My love life aint going anywhere. Not that Im looking. Its just that I need to buy a house. Period. I am not even expecting them to get me one. Oh page, I hope you get where im coming from right?
So, guess what the temporary comclusion is? I was told to buy my dad's condo. My bachelor pad. One that I couldnt afford seriously. I dont know. I feel lost. Ive never been more confused in my life right now. I need Allah to give me the strength in deciding. This is a commitment. I know.
And then, I was summoned to have lunch with Datuk Tony Tiah along with Li Hsia and Patricia. It was also unexpected. Boss told us at like 9am? It was pleasant. Of course I was nervous as hell. I had "Oh crap! Was i caught facebooking during ofc hours?" "what did i do?" "shoot shoot shoot". Apparently Datuk just wanted to tap our minds on plans for the company. What do we see ourselves in for the future? More like strategy planning. Phew. What a relief. But it was really nice.
Anyway, who knows whats gonna happen later today huh? We have another 8 hours till the day ends. Emotionally, I dont thin kI can handle anymore. Enough as it is. Im dry. Im tired. Lets hope for a better half a day today.
xoxo
This is positive for TM cause it will boost earnings from Wholesale business as it is also servicing YTL's YES!. Having said that, TM will not have a monopoly on the HSBB market going forward. This is positive for the sector but we may see some canibalisation of UniFi. UniFi is at an advantage thanks to its affordable pricing but slow rollout. Maxis, may capitalize on its sister company Astro and will probably gain more interests amongst customers.
Ok. After allll that, I continues my house-hunting project. It really aint easy I tell you. First of all, they ended up asking me, "bumi' or "non-bumi"? that irritates the hell out of me. Well, I dont believe in that. A Malaysian is a Malaysian. Period. What Bumi? Ish. So yea. And then, it got intense. I told mommy about my plans and, "BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" i got shot!!
From left, right, back front top bottom u name it. She mustve covered all angles of which I always managed to have an answer in return. Then, her reply would sound "Yea, you're the smart one right? You're the analyst" Ouch! I am sure that was sarcasm. Even Stevie Wonder could see that I'm the least smart in the family. Oh well.
I am turning 27 you know. i NEED a sense of accomplishment. And ownership. As of now, I have nothing. Except for my car. So yea, It was emotional. I cried and cried and practically sobbed my conversation over with mom. It was hard. She didnt understand why I needed to get a house. Not solely for moving out. Just so I could feel something. Like I have and own something. Thats it. It aint easy. I am turning 27 in a month and 10 days time. My love life aint going anywhere. Not that Im looking. Its just that I need to buy a house. Period. I am not even expecting them to get me one. Oh page, I hope you get where im coming from right?
So, guess what the temporary comclusion is? I was told to buy my dad's condo. My bachelor pad. One that I couldnt afford seriously. I dont know. I feel lost. Ive never been more confused in my life right now. I need Allah to give me the strength in deciding. This is a commitment. I know.
And then, I was summoned to have lunch with Datuk Tony Tiah along with Li Hsia and Patricia. It was also unexpected. Boss told us at like 9am? It was pleasant. Of course I was nervous as hell. I had "Oh crap! Was i caught facebooking during ofc hours?" "what did i do?" "shoot shoot shoot". Apparently Datuk just wanted to tap our minds on plans for the company. What do we see ourselves in for the future? More like strategy planning. Phew. What a relief. But it was really nice.
Anyway, who knows whats gonna happen later today huh? We have another 8 hours till the day ends. Emotionally, I dont thin kI can handle anymore. Enough as it is. Im dry. Im tired. Lets hope for a better half a day today.
xoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)